I had a guy tell me he wanted to remain friends because we were on ‘different’ wavelengths romantically. What he said isn’t rocket science. From reading in-between the lines I knew he did not want to be in a relationship with a girl who wasn’t ready for sex. Although I had told him when we first started talking that I was not ready to have sex, he figured things would change. Well they didn’t, and that’s when he decided I was no longer worth his interest.
I was mad. I was upset. I spent my morning crying when I read that text message. I placed the blame on myself. I began to question why I even tried to date in a ‘hook-up’ culture. I found myself wondering why I decided to stay a virgin. What was the point in being true to myself when it somehow ends up being thrown in my face?
I had all of these thoughts floating around in my head. I even texted my big sister in my sorority and one of my close friends at my school because I just wanted to know what I did wrong. I wanted to figure out why I seemed to continuously push guys away.
With the help of my big and my friend, I realized it wasn’t my fault. I began to see the bigger picture. I shouldn’t have felt ashamed. I shouldn’t have questioned myself.
In that moment I had to remember who I was. I had to remember why I decided to stick to my values. The truth is, he was just one guy. One small scratch that did hurt and it did a bit of damage, but I healed from it. I may have questioned myself. I may have even doubted myself, but at least I did not lose myself.
It is so easy to lose yourself, to question yourself, or even doubt yourself. There may be times you begin to wonder why you even bother to stay true to your values when to other people your values seem pointless.
Well, I am here to tell you that your values aren’t ‘pointless’. There is a reason you stick to your values and your morals. There is a reason you are so passionate about certain things. Maybe others might not understand your reason behind it, but you do. So who gives people that right to question you when you know yourself better than anyone else does.
Those people who make you question yourself are those who are the small scratches. They hurt for a bit, but sooner or later the pain disappears and they are no longer effect you. When it comes to those small cuts we usually don’t even think about putting a band-aid on it. Why risk a band-aid over something so small?
The same can be said over a person that leaves you doubting your values. Why change who you are if that person doesn’t respect the real you? If those people really cared about you, then they would not have you choose between them and yourself. If they are wanting you to compromise who you are, then those are not the people you need in your life.
You have to remember that you are worth so much more than to settle for people who do not value the real you.
You have to remember who you are because who you are is a beautiful person who should not have to change for anyone who believes you are not worthy of their interest.
Remember Who You Are because you are stronger than losing yourself over one small opinion.