Why do we feel bad for saying no? There shouldn’t be a guilty conscience associated with our right to say no. Could there be a chance it isn’t our guilty conscience?
Maybe, it isn’t even us at all.
Maybe, it’s the people.
For the longest time, I would feel guilty for saying no. I would easily give in instead of sticking with no. Usually they were just favors or something small. No, it wouldn’t have killed me to do those favors, but I had other obligations, and by me saying no was a way to keep my mind focuses on a what I needed to finish.
However, not everyone who says no to something are for small favors. Someone can say no to the act of sexual activities. Someone can say no to drinking or drugs. Someone can say no to anything they do not want to do, and they should not have to feel guilty for saying it.
Whenever I say no, repercussions somehow follow. Either the person gets mad and has a pity party, or they just assume I’ll change my mind. Or in the words of one person, “I guess I like being in control and it didn’t occur to me that I was taking advantage of you saying no”.
Typically, I’m a reserved girl. I don’t go out of my way to put myself in a situation that is out of my comfort zone, but to some of my friends that’s hindering me from having a great social life. Why should it matter? Why is it that I have to follow the rules of others when I know what I want and they don’t?
I have every right to say no. I have every right to stick to my gut feeling and not place the blame on myself because I decided to do what was best for me.
Just like I have every right to say no, so does everyone else. No one should need convincing to change their mind. No one should be degraded for saying no. No one should fear repercussions for saying no. No one should be taken advantage of, whether that is sexually, emotionally, or even because they have a kind heart, because they said no.
Despite of contrary belief, we don’t say no to upset someone. We don’t say no because we are lazy, selfish, or inconsiderate. We do not say no because you think we are being a tease or a flirt.
We say no because we have a right and we shouldn’t feel guilty for saying it.