Be Valued

“There’s a difference between being liked by a man & valued by a man. A lot of guys like you. Not many value you. Be valued” -unknown.


My friend and I were talking about being valued one day. He told me that I value being valued. I had to stop and think about what he was saying for a moment. Then he brought up the quote up above and I realized I do value being valued instead of simply being liked by a guy.

You see, it is easy to be liked by someone. It is so easy for someone to say the right words to make you fall for them. Then you begin to imagine yourself with them. However, it’s not really them you like, it’s the words. You lose yourself in what they say. You lose yourself in how smooth of a talker that person is.

But where are the actions? Where are the meaningful gestures? Where are the moments that suddenly pop up and remind you just how much you love that person?

They aren’t there. It is a plateau of settling and being content. You tell yourself it is okay because you both are in love and not all love is the same. True, not all love is the same, but how can a relationship thrive if you are not being valued by the one who loves you?

I thought I was valued. I would wake up to good morning messages or messages that signified how much my ex cared for me. ¬†Looking back, I realized all of the messages said the exact same thing. There was no depth. Just surface words of a smooth talker saying things that would make me happy. I never felt more than liked. I never found those meaningful gestures or the moments where I would randomly smile out of the blue due to a fond memory. It was so easy for me to walk away from the relationship because I wasn’t happy. I was so content with being liked and not valued.

To be valued means you are important to the person. They care about you sometimes more than you care about yourself and they constantly remind you of how much they care for you. They listen to you. They make sure you’re okay. They go out of their way to calm you down when maybe things aren’t going the best that day. ¬†Out of the blue they will hold your hand or turn your head in their direction and kiss you. Not in a ‘let’s start a make-out session right now” kind of way, but a meaningful kiss that is usually followed by a smile.

They value your beliefs. They value the little things about you that make up who you are. They are the ones who will look you in the eye when they know you’re upset. They are the ones who will stop everything and make you talk to them instead of shrugging off whatever it is that is bothering you.

It’s a weird feeling. I sound absurd for saying that, I know, but it is a weird feeling. By that, I mean it is weird when you’ve never experienced what it is like to truly be valued. It is such a great feeling, but such a new feeling at the same time. To know I matter that much to someone is a feeling almost indescribable. There are moments I have to take a step back and keep myself from getting all smitten because of how happy and how much I feel like I am wanted.

To be valued. To be wanted. To be of importance to someone. Sounds great, doesn’t it? I’d rather be valued than to be liked by many guys who truly don’t value me. Find someone who puts their words into actions. Find someone who makes you their everything and means it. Find someone who makes you feel important and not just convenient from time to time.

Be valued and don’t settle until you are.